A conversation, a journal page
- allymmmounga
- Jun 7, 2021
- 5 min read
This time, I just want to talk casually, to just float from subject to subject, as long as it’s meaningful. Old friends, we are.
I’ve been trying to flow through some blog post ideas, but my creek has been parched from the heat of June. This month has had something to say as it’s come in with highs in the 90s.
The wild thing is that my agenda seems to be synced to the weather's. As it gets hotter and hotter, so does my day. All of a sudden, I have two jobs and a whole new routine. I get in bed at 9:30 P.M. and wake up between 5:00 and 6:30. Each day is full of so much more--more movement, more people, more to create, see, and do.
On Monday, Memorial Day, I decided to begin a lovely, little lifestyle shift, to put myself in a better reality. June 1st, the next day, was my first full day of the new routine. Somehow, I woke up naturally at 5:30 A.M. long before my alarm would have chirped at me. I spent the morning listening to The Midnight Library, drinking my coffee, relaxing, and creating. Before day 1 of the new tumbling schedule, I needed to take my bike to the shop and switch it out for a new one. After tumbling, I popped home for lunch and a shower, then rode back for my first day at the front desk, my little dream job.
Ever since the month began, the sun has come blazing through with some much heat. So have I. In writing, we call this “external conflict” and “internal conflict,” except it isn‘t conflict at all. It’s just change, and lovely change, at that. It’s also called “pathetic fallacy” when the weather matches a character’s mood.
Each day this week, I’ve worked both gigs, taken my bike down the hill to the Sports Club, back up for lunch, then back down for a shift at the front desk. By the time I’ve been on my glide back home for the night, it’s still wildly hot, and I’ve purposely ridden through sprinklers and stopped in grocery stores to cool off and explore for a bit.
The heat and the new lifestyle, the double bookings, and the working 6 days a week have left me quite dry, but I don’t mind. It’s fun. It’s exciting. It’s very different from what I’ve been doing for a while now.
Up until this week, I’d been living in a very carefree manner, enjoying my youth and the joy of living intuitively, but now, I‘m creating structure for great growth—plucking the weeds, fertilizing the flowers, and giving my garden all of the tough love and attention that it would like. That feels good too.
I find it funny, sometimes, how I can be so extreme. I don’t do the whole “balance” thing short-term, not yet, anyway. When it comes to acquiring some sort of knowledge, I’m quick about it, I throw myself into it full force and eat it up like a chocolate cake. When it comes to self care, though, I take months and months at a time to switch between modes.
And you know what? Now that I think about it, that can be explained very simply.
Tides that pull me to soft self care:
- healing from something crazy (a really busy season of life, a heartbreak, a transition of some sort)
- a desire to romanticize rather than build
- cold weather (fall and winter)
Tides that pull me to get my shiv together:
- a desire to change something monumentally
- my nature of creation and art, wanting to build for a while, rather than rest - warm weather (spring and summer)
I was on the phone with mum as I rode my bike home from the club today, with my grocery bags on my left handlebar, and my phone in my right hand. At least, that was where my phone was, until I dropped it on the cement and ran it over. Bit more cracked, bit more glitch, but I think the lil will be fine. It’s almost four years old, at this point, ‘bout ready to rest in peace.
It’s Saturday morning on June 5th, and I’m lying in a hot bath, munching on blueberries. I woke up at about 7:00 this morning and made my bed, then slipped upstairs and read my book for a while. That chapter was magic; it spoke to my soul and my internal truth.
I love this day <3
My favorite podcast right now is Happy Hour with Lucy & Nikki. It’s quite a wild one, full of wildest stories and laughs, not for the feint of heart.
Now, it’s night time, and I’ve just crawled into bed.
After my morning bath, I packed my bikini and name tag, then rode my bike to the sports club. And at the front desk with me today, was a sweet Angel that I hadn’t worked with ever before.
We chit chatted a whole ton—about woo woo things and funny dates gone wrong, the boy that she’s seeing, and real life stuff. Right off the bat, we got talking about tarot and astrology, and I told her that I had a reading in a couple of hours. Later, I realized that she was friends with the girl I had the reading for tonight.
I went to the pool after work, rubbed in my shimmery sunscreen, and laid out for some time. Somehow, my book had been left on the coffee table, so I laid peacefully and quietly, thinking about very little, and listening to the noises of kids playing and parents chattering.
Eventually, I jumped in to swim and fluttered around for a long while. I wondered what time it was, knowing that it would soon be time to ride home and have dinner before my reading, so I turned to these two girls in red swimsuits and asked if they had it. 5:25; time to go.
I dried off and made my way to my old apartment, where I picked up a package of clothes that had ended up at the wrong home. It was wild to see the place redecorated and the trees full of leaves and giving off so much shade. I caught up with my old roommate and met one of the new ones, so sweet.
After some delicious and unconventional dinner, my reading showed up, and who was it, but the girl who had told me the time at the pool. We had a wonderful reading, and I think we’ll be great friends now <3
I just carried my laptop in one hand and laid out my comforter on the grass in the other. The moment I sat down to edit this blog post, I saw half a dozen baby grasshoppers leap onto my blanket and join me.
It’s June, baby <3 I love you
Love,
Ally Mia
Comments