We Fall in Love like Plants Do

It’s feeling even more empty even though the lemonade is filling up your tummy. It’s regretting all of the money you spent to take care of him and buy him that big Christmas gift. It’s dimming once that conversation is over. It’s terrible when very gradually, the flames wilt. He keeps his hand on your leg but doesn’t anymore turn to look at you with stars in his eyes. It’s miserable.

When it’s over, you’ll be glum with regret, embarrassed about how silly you think you’ve been, how he took advantage of you—the way human beings do. It’s impossible not to hurt each other. That’s earth. And it’s okay. It’s okay to be heartbroken. It’s okay to fight for him, defend him, and stay with him for too long. You see, these little hearts of ours, they’re wild and disobedient. And sometimes I feel as though you really didn’t have another choice. It simply wasn’t in you to have done things differently, so sweet pea, don’t beat yourself up.

Sometimes we are missing pieces. All the time really. And as we are traipsing through the garden one day, saying hello to the friends we’ve made, smiling at the strangers, avoiding eye contact with a certain few vegetables, we stumble upon this thing. And it’s entirely new. But it feels so familiar. And our little heart whispers, “That’s the one. He has everything me and you been searchingz for. We wanna thing that can take care of us and patch up this missing piece. And it’s him.”

While you’ve been working and munching on fertilizer and drinking your water, that little heart has been thinking. Daydreaming. Wondering. Waiting. And you didn’t know she was doing this! But now she’s shown you this spectacular bean. You’re stunned, but that’s okay, because he comes up to you, and he smiles and gives you his name and there at that spot, you give roots. They sink deep into the soft and generous soil. There it begins.

P.S. Tag yourself as one of de flowers.

Soon after, those little strings that slipped their way into the ground have reached his. They’re all intertwined now in a beautiful mess. Those holes in the soil are now filled with his roots. Together you stay there for the summer, soaking up all of that warm, kind sun. Oh my stars, is there anything lovelier? And in the fall as the chillies near, every part of you snuggles in closer. Brrrr.

Wait. Something’s wrong. When you open your eyes, White. It’s snowed. The first snow has come and—oh no—you’re cold cold cold up top, but underground, it’s a touch less warm than it had been the day before. And as the weather darkens and swirls with chills and blizzards, the closeness lessens and you feel numbing.

The time will come that you need to leave to stay healthy. And if you don’t, the gardener will find his way to you and so sorrowfully pull you apart. He will wrap his calloused fingers around your little waist and pull you slowly from the ground. You and your thing will yelp in protest and cling tighter to each other. It will hurt so much. And that gardener will understand. He will try to build you a home somewhere new with fresh soil that’s rich with nutrients. And you will cry and remember your old home.

As the sun comes out again in the spring and you laugh when the rain made mud splashes you, you’ll find love for these surroundings.

We live on this little earth and follow the seasons the way everyone else does.

But my darling, don’t make it harder on yourself. Don’t put your roots in rocky ground or places that can’t reach food or water. And with all of my heart, I beg you, please don’t entangle yourself with someone else. In those moments when two are twisted together, they blur and forget whose is whose. Do not find yourself in any situation where you don’t quite remember who you are. After you leave will hurt too. You will find that there are roots that were left behind, that couldn’t be salvaged.

It’s impossible to live for someone and keep yourself. You will lose yourself. I promise. And it is romantic to be consumed. But you weren’t created to simply be taken over by something else. You were born a human being and you’ve got to live for you sweet pea. Live for you. Be crazy and silly and wildly you. Find your own passions. Find your purpose. Improve yourself and the world and live.

And it's going to be okay if you fall in love wildly. You'll find out what works for you if you listen. Love you baby. Here, some clovers for good luck.