Romantic Relationships 101

I feel like whenever someone talks about relationships they admire, grandma's and grandpa's are brought up. It seems to me that many of them just knew how to love right. Today we're on love, the romantic kind, the movie worthy. I'm going to give you a few stories of relationships that I adore, split up by some "good love" qualities.

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Let's start with grandma and grandpa of course

Their names are a package deal, "Mike and Linda," even in their email,

MikeLinda(some-random-number)@gmail.com.

And I love it. I loved seeing their love as I grew up, they are my number one example of a lovely relationship. Grandpa would tease everyone relentlessly, especially grandma. He made her laugh, supported her in every hobby or project she picked up, even watched Dancing With The Stars with her. She took care of him, always gave him love, took him to the doctor, watched crazy movies in the living room together all the time when his health declined. They would travel and golf together, and just have fun. These two were always in love, always committed to each other, enduring whatever came along, and laughing through. In the hospital, all he would say over and over was that he didn't want to leave her.

They were romantic, sweet, and what we all want, weren't they?

Good Love Qualities:

1. Fun and adventurous, able to keep the romance alive by experiencing things together, going to new places, playing bridge with friends in Arizona. If the sparks are fading, light them up with something new. Don't stay in and watch a movie tomorrow night like always, go swimming, take a day trip to a cute little town up North and explore. Do something new.

2. Committed, staying together despite whatever circumstances came about, and choosing to give each other love and effort always. Seek relationships that you see trust and promise in, short and long term. Choose someone that you know you can love forever, and that will love you right back.

3. Balanced in their love and energy for the great majority of time. They were equal parts in love in this relationship, both wanting to be together and putting in the work. Be mindful of how much you are giving and receiving, some people might be low maintenance as far as attention goes. I'm not. I need affection, to be told that I'm loved, and time spent having fun with my lovey. So a super independent, never around, kinda guy isn't exactly for me. I want someone that wants to come home and eat dinner with me, go for a walk, and goof around. Figure out what you need.

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Now let's talk about Sar and Naters

My favorite things about Sarry Berry and Tornato are the little things they do for each other. Sar just had sinus surgery and Nate stayed home to take care of her for a few days. He's becoming a pilot right now and whenever he has to leave for a few days, they set aside extra time to spend together. They're two absolutely lovely people that have chosen to spend the rest of their lives together, raising a family (and pup named Frankie). I can confidently say that Sar is the kindest and happiest person I know. I imagine that she is such a light and joy in Nate's day. He is an angel too, selfless and great at taking care of people. I imagine that this helps Sar to feel so, so loved.

Good Love Qualities:

1. Having separate passions. Like I mentioned, Nate is pursuing piloting (rad) and he loves it! This helps him to find fulfillment outside of their relationship. Sometimes we get so madly in love with our lovers that we forget to do anything but love them. That's not sustainable darling, so always make sure to have other joys in your world.

2. Intentionally doing sweet things for each other. One of Sar's big love languages is gifts and when they were dating, she bought him a ton of clothes, just because. They do little things for each other all the time. Recognize your own love languages, and give each other love in those ways to feel mutually cared for.

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My relationship:

This is the one I know best, and love the most.

It's unwilting and resilient, despite months spent on opposite ends of the country, and buckles on our path, our love has never faded. We've been drawn back to each other like magnets over and over again. It's a relationship of understanding one another, loving and embracing whatever quirks we seek to understand, inspiring each other to reach farther, work harder, and pursue big dreams, communicating openly and working through problems, finding home and comfort in each other. It feels like baking pumpkin, chocolate chip cookies after a swimming day at the lake, snuggling up in our jammies, and watching an old movie. It's vibrant, romantic, and fought for, but not hard.

Good Love Qualities:

1. Communicative. I used to can any concerns like strawberry jam, but I've learned to be open. And since, things have been sweeter than ever before. Talk about your feelings to grow closer to your lovey. Your connection will strengthen and the tension will dissipate if you work it out.

2. Understanding, hand in hand with communication. When thoughts and feelings flow down this river between two people, they each must hold a net, catching each other's message-in-a-bottle's, and making an effort to listen and understand. Be gentle, be open minded, think through your lovey's thoughts in feelings completely. See if you can find where they're coming from, why they feel this way, and accept that for what it is.

3. Physical attraction. Sometimes people neglect to value this part of a relationship because they see it to be vain or fleeting. I don't subscribe for a few reasons. My mom has always had a type, brown curly hair, masculine build, athletic, and sensitive. I have too. They're these odd little phenomenons that I believe exist to attract us to the people we pair well with. We can be attracted to someone's appearance because it shows effort and priority. Taking the time to curl your hair and lashes, moving that body, and eating those veggies show that you appreciate and take care of your body. That's attractive to me because it exemplifies discipline, dedication, and mindfulness, not just abs baby.

4. Earned, but not difficult. "Relationships are hard," that's what they say. I don't subscribe to this either. Life is full of trying circumstances, so relationships are bound to be too, but I don't think it should be hard to wake up each day for the rest of your life, next to someone you love and choose. I think it should feel like heaven. I think you should choose someone that's easy to love, be --yourself-- easy to love, and then remind yourself each day, just why you chose that person.

Have a wonderful day, darling. Bye now :-)